{"id":52,"date":"2013-05-31T20:48:22","date_gmt":"2013-05-31T11:48:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jisukcho.com\/karasu\/?p=52"},"modified":"2016-08-06T13:44:53","modified_gmt":"2016-08-06T04:44:53","slug":"part003_edit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jisukcho.com\/karasu\/part003_edit\/","title":{"rendered":"\u4e09 Part 03 (Truth)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"kiss_cg\"
\n<\/a>The months passed by and spring made way for summer, filling the air with the hum of cicadas. Once a week, Kana would make her way up the mountainside to spend an afternoon in the old storehouse. The two would often spend the hours reading together or walking through the forest. She told him about humanity and the ways they lived, grew, and interacted. Shichi explained, to the best of his ability, the values held by the monks in the temple\u2014that every being deserved the chance find happiness, and that every life had value. They found many similarities and many differences between their habits but, more importantly, they discovered connections between themselves.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Shichi\u2019s long absences and unnaturally lighthearted moods did not go unnoticed by the others\u2014namely, his mentor. Time and time again she cornered the young tengu, attempting to pry the truth from him. Instead, she received only well-thought-out excuses and alibis\u2014that the arrival of summer made him cheerful, that chipmunks had eaten all of the horse chestnuts and he\u2019d had to travel to the next mountain over to fetch some. He countered every accusation with a casual response, and Sagiri\u2019s suspicions only festered as time went on.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until the arrival of autumn that she found the evidence she needed. She waited until the completion of their evening meditation before stopping him at the door. They were alone in the quiet hall, and Shichi looked at his master with pause.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I do something for you?\u201d he asked, wondering if she needed another errand before they turned in for the night.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you can.\u201d She closed the sliding door behind her. \u201cYou can tell me the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe truth?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is not our way to speak falsely. If you call yourself a monk, then you\u2019ll tell me where you were yesterday afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was in the forest, collecting ashitaba,\u201d he replied, though a stone had begun to build in his stomach. Something about her words struck him.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd who were you with?\u201d<\/p>\n

Shichi\u2019s spine stiffened, though he did his best to keep his exterior calm. Why, all of a sudden, was she asking him this?<\/p>\n

\u201cWho could I have been with?\u201d he asked, the words tasting like paper on his tongue.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I\u2019m asking you,\u201d Sagiri said, then pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve. Shichi\u2019s eyes locked on the cloth as she opened it, his heart beginning to race. The pounding grew louder in his head, finally deafening him as she revealed the single hair that rested inside. One long, black strand of hair\u2014human hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cI found this on your clothing. Must I ask again?\u201d<\/p>\n

For a long while, Shichi stared down at the handkerchief. There was no excuse that could cover this, no lie that would satisfy his master. His body locked up, paralyzed by shame. Not only did Sagiri know the truth, but she also knew that he had lied to her over and over again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI . . .\u201d His eyes darted over the boards of the wooden floor. \u201cI was with someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sagiri didn\u2019t respond, only waiting for him to continue.<\/p>\n

\u201cA human woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

Again, she simply waited. Shichi took in a breath, still unable to make eye contact with his mentor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re friends. She has been visiting for nearly a half year.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shichi finally dared to look up, his body wound in a tight cringe as he did so. It was now his turn to wait. His master\u2019s expression was unreadable, not giving a single hint of whatever fate would befall him.<\/p>\n

\u201cShichi,\u201d she said, her tone even. \u201cDo you know why we forbid contact with humans?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause they\u2019re dangerous,\u201d he answered with a sigh. \u201cBut she would never\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat she would or would not do is of little significance. I have no quarrel with this woman, nor do I denounce your relationship. Your ability to interact peacefully with a human is commendable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before Shichi\u2019s fear could ease, she finished her line of thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut not every human is peaceful. In the past, they have tormented our kind, as we have theirs. If you were to be discovered by the villagers, the entire temple would be in danger. They will not tolerate a tengu bewitching and luring off one of their own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat should I do?\u201d he asked, his voice weak.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is your decision to make. But do not forget\u2014if you choose to continue this relationship, you will be putting every one of our lives at risk. Every moment you spend with this human is a moment of selfishness.\u201d<\/p>\n

The realization hit him like a torrent. Shichi could only look back at her, his voice failing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI could expel you from the temple for lying to me, but I have hope that you will not do it again. You will, however, be punished. All firewood duties before the first frost will be yours. This includes chopping and hauling. You will not communicate with your peers for one month, nor will you be allowed in the common areas.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a pause, allowing time for him to absorb the weight of her verdict.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you understand?\u201d she asked, opening the door for him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do,\u201d Shichi said with a submissive nod, thankful that she was still tolerating him.<\/p>\n

\u201cTruly?\u201d she said, her voice firm as her eyes locked onto his.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGo on, then,\u201d she said, stepping aside. Shichi bowed deeply, keeping his head low as he stepped outside. He was met with brisk autumn air, the wind rolling a few dead leaves through the central courtyard. His mental unrest had manifested itself in a sharp headache, and he touched his forehead wearily. He was so deeply immersed in his thoughts that he barely noticed his fellow monk approaching.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, Shichi,\u201d she said. \u201cWhat did she say to you? Are you in trouble?\u201d<\/p>\n

Apparently their private talk hadn\u2019t gone unnoticed by the other monks. This one was around his age, a young woman by the name of Sanae. She followed a different mentor and was studying calligraphy. Shichi sometimes wondered if his master had ever regretted taking him as a student and if she would have preferred someone more promising\u2014someone like Sanae.<\/p>\n

Shichi simply gestured to his beak, shaking his head helplessly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, no talking. That\u2019s rough,\u201d Sanae said with a sympathetic tilt of her head. \u201cWell, at least you won\u2019t have to chat with Shingo anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shichi couldn\u2019t help but laugh, remembering the tengu who loved to explain, in incredible detail, his theories about the universe. It was usually interesting at first, but after several hours, most of his companions found themselves longing for death.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to get you into more trouble, so I\u2019d better go. But hang in there, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

Shichi nodded gratefully as she left. He realized, as he stood alone in the courtyard, that his choice wasn\u2019t a choice at all. There was only one thing he could do.<\/p>\n

#<\/p>\n

When Kana finally visited again, Shichi was waiting for her. He stood outside the old storehouse with his arms folded into his sleeves. The sound of her approaching footsteps, normally a source of excitement, now felt like pinpricks under his skin. For a moment he closed his eyes, listening to the crunch of dried leaves beneath her sandals and the slightly awkward pacing of her steps; even after all this time she was still poor at mountain climbing. He remembered the sound of her arrival carefully. He would never hear it again.<\/p>\n

\u201cShichi!\u201d she called, her voice swift with excitement. \u201cI brought you something.\u201d<\/p>\n

He opened his eyes, taking note of the long folded paper in her hands and the brightness in her expression. His intention had been to tell her the bad news the moment she arrived. A swift cut would be less painful. Even so, her eyes were full of happiness and he couldn\u2019t bear to destroy that\u2014not just yet. Perhaps they could have one last afternoon together.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u201d he asked, feigning a pleasant expression.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re celebrating in the village. It\u2019s a holiday for children,\u201d she said, clearly still winding down from the event. \u201cIt\u2019s called Shichi Go San\u2014like your name. You know, seven is a lucky number.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose it is,\u201d he said, not feeling particularly lucky at that moment.<\/p>\n

She pulled a long white stick of candy from the paper. \u201cWell, anyway, this is thousand year candy. For a long life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d He examined the stick in a way that made Kana laugh. \u201cAh, we don\u2019t get much candy in the temple. How did you get this? Isn\u2019t it for children?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not that old.\u201d She pushed some hair behind her ear. \u201cI\u2019m still eighteen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, you\u2019re definitely still a child,\u201d he said, his tone flat as he turned to go back<\/p>\n

inside. She hurried alongside him, furrowing her brow at his words.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean? You can\u2019t be that much older than me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTengu live much longer than humans do,\u201d he said, sitting down to serve<\/p>\n

some of the tea he\u2019d brought.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow old are you?\u201d Kana asked, unable to hide the wince in her voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m eighty-four.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kana sputtered into her tea, causing it to spill a bit as she started coughing.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you all right?\u201d He set his cup down in concern.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re an old man\u2014you\u2019re older than my grandfather!\u201d she exclaimed, wiping her chin dry with a handkerchief. \u201cAnd he\u2019s dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t feel very old. My mentor is nearly twice my age.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you should give back that candy. You\u2019ve already lived long enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shichi laughed and for a moment almost forgot the looming knowledge of this being their last day together. They talked for the rest of the afternoon, finishing the pot of tea down to the last leaves. It took all of Shichi\u2019s strength to maintain a pleasant mood. He hung on her every word, not wanting to forget the way she told stories or the way she would push her hair out of her eyes when thinking intently.<\/p>\n

They barely noticed when the sun set, and it was only when Shichi lit a lantern did he mention the time.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you be all right going down the mountain this late?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve done it before. My home is on the edge of the village, anyway. There\u2019s a strong plum tree by the outer walls so I can sneak back in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t imagine you climbing,\u201d he said, sitting down on his knees next to her, \u201cwith those flat human nails.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI climbed trees all the time when I was young. And my nails are fine. Yours look . . . intimidating.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d He held up his hand to examine the sharp, black claws on each finger. \u201cThey\u2019re useful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre they like your beak?\u201d Kana gestured to her own nose. \u201cDoes it have feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d he said, his posture shrinking. Occasionally, their conversations would remind him of how physically different the two were. It was at these times he was the most self-conscious about his \u201cmonstrous\u201d appearance.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe tip doesn\u2019t feel much, but it\u2019s sensitive here,\u201d he said, pointing to the base above his nostrils. She peered closer and he instinctively leaned away, still not accustomed to close proximities. This amused her and, with a smile, she lifted her hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I feel?\u201d she asked carefully, as if talking to a startled animal.<\/p>\n

\u201cI-if you wish.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gingerly, she rested her fingertips on the top of his beak. Giving him a moment to settle, she began to pet him the way one would stroke a cat. He let his eyes close, noting that it felt rather nice. Without thinking, he lowered his head for her, encouraging her hand higher. Her touch was gentle, soothing enough to calm his nervous pulse. The feathers on the back of his neck ruffled happily, and she bit her lip to hide a laugh.<\/p>\n

After a moment, her hand left him. He was about to open his eyes when he felt a different sensation on his beak. It was a warmer, softer touch. He could feel the slight weight of her breath and the tug of her hand on his collar. His eyes snapped open in panic.<\/p>\n

\u201cW-what are you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

Kana pulled back instantly, giving him a nervous smile.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s . . . it\u2019s called a kiss. I\u2019m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even though he had never felt a kiss before, or even seen one, it was clear to him that it was an intimate gesture. The way she\u2019d shifted so close to him and the way her fingers had gripped his robe\u2014this wasn\u2019t an expression of friendship. It was her way of showing that she felt something more.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d He shook his head. \u201cI\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she repeated, trying to keep the twinge of hurt from her voice. \u201cI won\u2019t do it again. It was just\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I can\u2019t do this. I can\u2019t see you anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

They both went silent. Shichi cursed himself, wishing that he had said his goodbyes the moment she\u2019d arrived. Now it would be more complicated. It would be more painful.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d she finally asked, her voice barely above a whisper.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is too dangerous. If we were found out by your village . . .\u201d He struggled to find the words he had practiced earlier that day. \u201cI\u2014 we can\u2019t keep this up. You don\u2019t belong here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kana stared at him, her eyes welling up with tears and her brow knit in disbelief. When she finally found herself able to look away, she rubbed her sleeve over her face and grimaced.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy now? Why did you wait until now?\u201d she demanded, her hands wound into tight fists.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should have left me in that stream,\u201d she said. Unable to watch, Shichi could only listen as the door slid open and then slammed shut. His heart was burning, begging him to go after her. He wanted to call her name and pull her into his arms, to tell her how much she meant to him\u2014that the days they spent together were the happiest in his life. Instead, he let his head drop, alone in the old storehouse with only empty tea cups to keep him company.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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